As a photographer I've never photographed an ugly person, or a fat person. Whatever their size or looks, they have always been beautiful.
Yet when I first saw our photos of Dessi I could've cried. For the vein reason that I thought I looked too fat. 'Who is that person I wondered?'.
Whilst I would've liked to come out of the experience looking like Kate Middleton, the 3 day induction and birth left me looking like the michelin man.
It is so hard to be photographed when you feel you don't look like your best. I'm still far chubbier than the day of my wedding, My wonderful pregnancy hair fell out on schedule at 4 months, leaving me me with an old man receding hair line.
Thankfully the process has left me with a beautiful baby girl who I want to be photographed and who I want to be photographed with. I want to remember this time, however I look. For this reason I'll be proud of my photos. A visual reminder of what I went through to have this beautiful girl.
"Who is that person I wondered?"
Well she is the one' that had 40+18 weeks of pregnancy, sickness and nausea for most of it, pelvic girdle pain making it too hard to walk in the latter weeks.
It was she who spent hours battling through horrible pain to learn to breastfeed, who missed hours of sleep to tend to her daughter's needs.
It was she who had awful water retention that had me sweating buckets in the dead of winter.
She, whose tummy will never be the same now it grew a baby.
Motherhood is not always glamorous, but it doesn't need to be. Our photos, our memories need to be truthful. It doesn't matter how we look, it is who we are beneath it all that will shine out.
As a photographer, I'll tell you that you look beautiful because you are. That you won't regret making a record of these memories. I'll also be sure to let you know the best way to stand to look your best for the camera, because let's face it... some angles are definitely better than others.